Grandma and Grandpa "B"

Looking back on my life so many of my happiest times were with Grandma, and Grandpa. I always felt so safe with them as a child. Even as an adolescent, and an adult. Their was something about them that made me feel so secure. Like one of my biggest memories was September 12Th around 3:00 to 4:00 am: It was my second eldest brothers birthday. He had moved home for awhile. Then I remember as if it was last night. My father answered the phone and said. Oh no not Brent! My brother had been in a horrific car accident.I sat right up in bed. I could not breath. I was paralyzed with fear, and of the unknown. Then my father ask how bad it was? What hospital he was in. Then he immediately called his father my grandfather. Within 5 minutes grandma and grandpa were their to take me to their house. I was really unaware about the entire situation.They had such a good way of handling any type of situation. They both assured me that my brother would be fine. I instantly believed them. Grandma got in bed with me and patted me on my back. She said her prayers with me gave me a kiss and ask if me if I was worried. I said yes grandma I am scared to death. Grandma said give all your worries to me, and child you get some sleep. I said she replied shh, shh, shh, go to sleep we have allot to do honey, goodnight. Just remember grandma is right here for you. The extraordinary thing about my grandparents was they were 99.9 % correct. By the way my brother he is doing extraordinary.


In Loving Memory of

Jerry and Carrie

Blackstone

"Smile when your heart is aching"

So many of us have moved away from the place we grew up. We have been gone for many a years now. Some of us have triumphed and and seen the world from afar. Some have just got "ourselves into one mess and survived it, and slipped right into another unknowingly". Some people call these people insane, or crazy. I tend to think of them as interdependent they can't think of how to live without another. So even when their sad. They smile when their heart is aching so nobody really knows how they ever really feel inside. Even their own family truly does not know their extent of their heart ache. If they did their would be nothing they could for the person they loved, for it is to deep to ever understand. They do not want empathy, nor do they want sympathy. Their only looking for a bit of understanding. They do not want to get in any ones way,and they sure do not want to be a burden in any ones life. They just want to be remembered for the good they did in on this earth.Nothing more nothing less. We all just want to be remembered for the good. Some people just were put here to care for others. It does not seem like such a big job. Yet in the grand scheme of life if nobody took care of anyone else we would be in a big pile of crap eh. So we all need to respect each other for what path we each chose to do. Like "Forest Gump said life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your going to get" .

So far away

As we all grow older it seems to be harder to be so far away from your family. Times it is two or three years that pass, before you see your mother and sibling's. Before you know it we will all be in our 50's and 60's. I can not believe how time marches on. I miss my family, oh so very much. especially now that I am older.The times we do get together are so sweet and memorable. I only wish for more. However, we all have our lives and mom is well. Which we are all so grateful for. I am so thankful for the wonderful family I have. I must say it would be wonderful if I could be with them more. As time just slips away.


All my love,

Sis,

Just when you least expect it

It's funny how comfortable we get in setting our ways. Then we you least expect it something you never dreamed of gets thrown your way. Some, maybe good , some, maybe be not so good . I suppose it is just how we decide to handle it.One time I had a real curve ball thrown at me. However, I looked at it as an opportunity instead of a challenge. Once I did that, it turned into an adventure as opposed to something else. "I had to do" So if your ever ask to do something when you least expect. Give it a chance it maybe an opportunity of a lifetime!

Grandma Pancake

It was not until my family reunion in Ohio with my mother and my siblings all got together. That I found out that I have a great-great- grandmother pancake... to my surprise I said is he Indian/?He, he, the family rumbled... " with grins all over there face's I ask what is she Apache' Cherokee' "One of my sibling's said with a smile and said I believe Grandma pancake was Cherokee" I responded I knew I felt kinship between a crepe' and myself. Now I know why! it's simply because of beloved grandma pancake... In memory of Grandma Pancake.


18,56

20,09

non- verbal communication

As she takes herself down the driveway to a certain place between two trees she reclines herself in her electric wheelchair. Usually the wind is blowing a bit as I look out the kitchen window there are probably about 30 trees. She parks herself on the driveway between to of the largest. She begins to dance from side to side as she smiles... she speaks in her own language as if their is someone right in front of her, there are times when she waves and nods her head yes and sometimes no as she is giggling. I have always wondered who it is she sees or who it is she is corresponding with, however I know there is something or someone like her daddy, that she is communicating with. People with disabilities seem to all have a special gift, I believe my daughter since she has experienced death and come back on a couple occasions has been given a gift. Their is someone that is understanding every word she is conversing. As her mother I understand everything she needs as well we are wired the same and we both understand each others needs and feelings.
She is now a graduate of 2009'

The first time I heard the "C" word

It was the summer of 89' the summer my youngest girl was born my father had told the family, that he was having some sciatica problems and he was only seeing a chiropractor. The A-typical male sizing himself up with a self- diagnosis. Well unfortunately for all of us it was not a problem for a chiropractor. It was a prostrate problem, that he had left un-treated for so long that by The time it was caught it had already gone into bone cancer. It was a death sentence for my father, there were no two ways about it. They had given him 2 years. I was angry, so sad I could not think about life without him, and mad at the age of 25 I would be fatherless. I felt I could no longer breathe....Then in April 1991 my husband was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer... and he was given 1 week to live... My father died September4,1991
my husband died September 11Th, 1991 One week after my father died.

what does not hurt you, just makes you stronger!

B.A.M.

My hero,

Back in the 80's I was given a magnificent gift that has been helping me out for past 21 years. He is a strong man a wise man and a man with a heart of gold. I am proud of him and he has never let me down he has always been my hero, and my cowboy.He knows who he is. He is much loved by many.... Thank you for being you. ♥

A new day rises

It is now 5:00 a:m my daughter is in the next room, she is arising laughing, and carrying on, listing to the birds chirp as the sun comes through her east window. As she awaits for her milkshake to travel through her pump into her gasostromy tube, and as mama changes her after twenty years. She smile and holds her arms up for her first morning hug her mama responds good morning sweets' did you have good sleeps? Sweet's smiles back as she shakes her head yes, from that point on I know it will be a good day as she rises.